My t-shirt-winning response to the KTEH challenge was as follows:

Question One:  How can we establish permenant, peaceful, and mutally beneficial communication?

Question Two: Can you provide me with documents written in Earth English which explain in detail your physiological and psychological make-up, the entire history of your species, including the location of your planet, and the physics and mechanics behind your mode of interstellar/interplanetary travel?

Question Three:  Would you like a cup of tea?